There is a time for everything and a season for everything under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 ~

Peklyn gave me a bookmark with this passage three years ago. But these words only came to life yesterday.

I asked, "Lord, why did you allow me to be so depressed?"
There is a time to weep and a time to laugh..

"Why are so many bad things happening to me?"
There is a time to kill and a time to heal.. A time to tear down and a time to build.. A time to mourn and a time to dance.. A time to embrace and a time to refrain.. A time to keep and a time to throw away.. A time to love and a time to hate..

"Where are you, Lord, amidst all my troubles?"
There is a time to be silent.. And a time to speak.

And when He did speak, He brought me to shame. He spoke to me over and over again ever since RBS.. Maybe even before that. I told Him I'll do as He said. But I neglected Him halfway through and decided not to bother. That was where I made a huge mistake.

Because I did not listen to Him.. I walked straight into the wall God warned me of. All this while, He's been telling me to turn back and avoid the wall before it's too late. But did I listen? No..

I blamed Him for my mistake. Yes, I did. But even as I lost faith in Him.. He did not forget me. He showed Himself to me when I asked Him to. He answered all my doubts and questions. He helped me solve the issues I didn't know how to handle. But.. It was painful. And it's all because I did not listen to Him..

It's still painful. But I'm hanging on. All I need to do now is get things right again with God. I need to put Him as my priority again. And hopefully.. Everything will fall back in place.

He did promise that all will go well in the end. He promised. Whether or not it's my idea of a happy ending.. God will definitely keep His promise. And that's all I'm holding on to now..

"... You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord God gave you has failed. Every one has been fulfilled; not one has failed." (Joshua 23:14)

"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!" (Luke 1:45)

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

"Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him." (James 1:12)

• I lost interest in writing, that's why I've not been blogging for awhile.
• I was depressed lately (I don't know how else to explain this). I'm better now though.
• I've been sleeping late the past few days. A big no-no for a girl like me who has to wake up early. But.. Oh well.
• Believe it or not.. My new addiction now is the Sims 2.
• I'm going to learn the flute! (I hope)
• I know like So many people in my college. But I can't remember their names.
• I bought a MAC eye shadow and blusher set for RM15. It's original.. No kidding. I've no idea when I'll use it though.
• I actually had lots of new thoughts regarding different things lately.. But I never had the time to blog about them when I wanted to. So I end up not doing it. Sad huh?
• When I feel unloved, I eat and watch friends.
• I want to watch the Da Vinci Code this saturday. But I've not made any arrangements whatsoever.
• I feel left out Too easily. I've got to do something about it.
• I am So touchy.
• I miss home!
• I'm a boring person ain't I..
• Oh well..

Why so long never blog wan?
Sorry lo.. I was really very busy the past few weeks. College has started for me, I had to study for my SATs (Which I took last yesterday, don't ask me how it went, I won't answer),and basically I've been running back and forth between Nilai and KL so much it wore me out. And I didn't have the mood also la..

Did you go for RBS?
Yes, I did. And it has been a month since it was over..

How was RBS?
Though I was advice to not use this as a response.. It was great! No other words can describe the experience I had over there. I learnt a lot. Really, a lot. And it is Highly recommended. Come to me for more personal stories..

What are you doing now?
I've started college already. I'm currently studying at Inti College Malaysia at Nilai.

How's college life?
So far so good lo.. I'm still adapting, but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I like everything about my college except the internet connection.

How's your roommate?
Her name's Lu Shuan, and she's from Ipoh. Yes, she's nice. Yes, she's friendly. No, she's not messy. No, she does not snore.

Oklah, please try to stop asking me all these questions already la. Haha..

Phew..

"Time flies like birds" - Quote from Adam Sang

Truly, it does. The days of college life starts tomorrow for me. It seemed like just yesterday I was rejoicing over my liberty from high school, lazying in my dad's office, celebrating Chinese New Year, lazying at home, telling my mom, "It's okay la.. Still got five more months till my SATs", worrying about my driving test, worrying about my SPM results, mourning over my SPM results, attenting RBS, adapting to life after RBS..

Now is the time to go back into the 'studying' mode..

From hence forth, I'll be separated from my family and friends again. This time I'll be off to Inti College Malaysia, Nilai, Seremban. I'll be back on weekends though. Don'y need to fret. = )

Pray for me if you're reading this. I need to focus again.

Go me!

At RBS 2006, I learnt to be still in the presence of God. I learnt to be grateful for what I have. I learnt to forgive. I learnt to control my temper and feelings. I learnt to say sorry and seek forgiveness. I learnt true humility. I learnt what it is like to let go of the things and people I love. I learnt to put God first in everything. I learnt to listen to God. I learnt about the poors' simple faith. I learnt to trust God. I learnt to trust others. I learnt to work in a team. I learnt to be considerate of others - the hard way. I learnt about how strong one's passion can be for God. I learnt that that passion can touch others around you really deeply.

In simple words, I learnt to love God.. More.

Four of my close girl friends

The first few who reached the peak of Gunung Jasa

I got a pleasent surprise one night when these handsome boys came parading in with formal clothes

The girls of Dorm 1 and Aunty May Lee, our dorm mentor

My mission team - Team Shirtliff

We of RBS 2006

Woo!!

That's right! I'm back home in KL!!

Missed me?? Hehe..

It's been a really bittersweet day for me. I'm happy to be finally back home, but I'm really going to miss the days spent up in Camerons.

I'm tired lar.. So more info tomorrow kay?

I'M BACK!!!!

People! I'm in Camerons now!

I get free air-con everyday.. I can get the best pancakes in Malaysia anytime I want.. I'm starting to lose weight cos' my friends here Make me go jogging every morning.. Life is bliss.

Haha..

Although it's only been 4 days, I've really learned a lot.. About God and myself.

It's been fun really.. And a good Learning experience too of course (Hehe).

I'm really looking forward to the coming days.

Anyway, I think I've to go now. It's RM3.50 per hour in the cyber cafes here in Camerons!! And I've got to stop All the guys here from playing online games and breaking the rules. Hehe..

See you guys next sunday!

This is it.

I'll be leaving now.

Thank you Andrea, Angie, Jeff and KJ.

And I'm sorry to those I didn't really get to say a proper goodbye to.

I'll call back.

And I'll miss you all. A lot.

Bye all..

Pray for me.

This is going to be one of my last entries before I leave for a 5-week trip to RBS in Cameron Highlands.

I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow. It seems like just yesterday I was celebrating the end of my Form 5 life. Then BAM! I just collected my SPM results on Monday. And tomorrow I'm leaving civilization for one month. Six days after I come back, I'll be off to college at Inti Nilai.

It's all Too Soon!!

Time's not doing me justice.. Cos' I feel like I've no time to prepare myself for the future.

Life's just like that isn't it? Unpredictable.

I don't know what God has in mind for me even now. Strangely, all the people I've talked to seem to be going to RBS with quite a load to carry. Everyone sounded so.. Weary. Is that His way of healing and changing us?

I guess we'll see..