These are actual answering machine answers recorded and verified by the world famous: International Institute of Answering Machine Answers.

I doubt it. But..

Want to try one?

"My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished."

Narrator's voice: "There Richard sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain. The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message."

"Hi. Now you say something."

"Hi, I'm not home right now but my answering machine is, so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep."

"Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?"

"He-lo! This is Sa-to. If you leave message, I call you soon. If you leave sexy message, I call sooner!"

"Hello, this is Sally's microwave. Her answering machine just eloped with her tape deck, so I'm stuck with taking her calls. Say, if you want anything cooked while you leave your message, just hold it up to the phone."

"Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving messages. My owners do not need siding, windows, or a hot tub, and their carpets are clean. They give to charity through their office and do not need their picture taken. If you're still with me, leave your name and number and they will get back to you."

"This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."

"Hi. I am probably home. I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."

"Who are you and what do you want?"

This is going to be fun!